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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

comparison

Here is a comparison of my boys around 3 months.
 I feel like they look pretty similar... the nose seems different.
 I look at pictures and I kind of think Andrew is cuter than Edward was - is that bad?!
 Andrew makes me love the baby stages. He is the sweetest, happiest little man. I was in a different place when I had Edward. The first baby is a shock to your life, no matter how prepared you may be. Your world changes forever. It is an awesome transition and one that I wouldn't take back, but, now looking back, it was harder for me than I realized at the time. 
I cried a lot.
I was insecure.
My dad had just disappeared in a plane.
Lost.
And most of the time, I didn't trust any of the decisions I was making. 
It was stressful, sleepless, and overwhelming. 
I was always looking ahead to the next stage and wanting him to be older. 

Andrew is much easier. The transition from one to two babies has been a breeze. I can count the number of times I have irrationally cried on one hand this time! Time has helped understand my grieving process. There are already toys and gear all over the house. I know that these moments are fleeting and the time really does pass quickly, so I have to cherish him as he is today.
I love my Andrew.

2 comments:

CaseyWiegand said...

this is so true!!!!! Gosh, im a totally different mama the second time around! SO much more laid back hahaha! this is awesome! love you!!!!

Emily said...

This post makes me relieved! I was definitely a high stress first time mom and worried over scheduling, etc. I am hoping second time will just be smoother in general and appreciate your honesty. It's all very reassuring!