Tuesday, September 27, 2011

my andrew's birth story

8 weeks ago today, after a nice relaxing pedicure, I was experiencing pain and decided to call the doctor after lunch time. It was not contractions from what I remember with Edward, but intense pain that worsened when I walked or moved, and was present when I laid still. 
At 32 weeks, we found out that Andrew had flipped around in to the breach position. I was completely devastated. I know there are millions of worse things that could be wrong with your baby, but this was abnormal for us and it rocked my world. I was determined to get him to turn back around and refused to have a c-section. Every single morning, I would wake up and be able to feel his head right under my left ribs. At the first breech-aware visit, the doctor said there was a 75% chance that he would turn back around, but that number continued to dwindle as the weeks progressed and their was no movement. I tried acupuncture, chiropractics, herbal supplements, cold packs to his head, and all the raised pelvic time I could muster. Nothing. 
Honestly, it was a grieving process for me. I wanted to have a normal delivery because that is what I knew. A C section scared me and I was forced to dwell on the idea for 8 weeks. It was difficult and I began to realize that it was a pride issue. I was prideful about having my babies vaginally and didn't want to have a scheduled c-section. 
My doctor at first wanted to schedule us, but I convinced her that I wanted my body to go in to labor on it's own rather than shock a baby in to the world that wasn't quite ready to be here. I was completely emotional about the whole situation for weeks. It was almost like pre-partum depression! 
So, on August 2nd, we went in to get the pain checked out and the doctor simply said, "You can sit around in pain for another week, or we can have the baby tonight." The chances of him moving were now at 0% and I wanted to get the surgery over with, so we scheduled it for that night at 6:00.
We came home, packed bags, made some phone calls, and I cried a lot. As we called and e-mailed family, it was another time when I wished that I could call my dad and tell him, too. I was sad and, of course, terrified. My mom was in town to be with Edward, and we headed back to the hospital.
As hospitals go, 6pm actually turned in to 8pm... so we sat in our room and I worked a crossword puzzle while we waited. 
 The surgery was so bizarre. I was numbed from the waist down, but could still feel pulling close to my ribs. It was nothing like bringing a baby in to the world normally, and I was having the hardest time with it. Once, the doctors got in to the baby, she said, "Oh, there was no way this guy was going to move!" and just like that, he was out in the world and crying! My pediatrician was in the room and he checked him out, swaddled him up and let me kiss him before he was taken to the nursery while they finished the surgery. 
I didn't get to see him for 2 full hours after that. He was perfect and nothing was wrong, but I had to be sewn up and recovered before I could see him. Edward was with him the whole time in the nursery and had his hand on him throughout all the newborn stuff. 
This is literally my favorite picture of all time. 
It captures my dear husband when he is at his finest - as a father. 
When it was all said and done, the c-section was not a bad experience, but not one that I want to have again unless completely necessary. I have come to understand now that a breech baby and a c-section delivery are not signs of weakness or ill-mothering on my part. I have a perfect baby and a cool scar to prove it! 


Katie and Justin Cox said...

Andrew and Kaki should be friends! From one breech baby Mommy to another... I am with ya sister! Super hard for me too. But you're right we have SUPER awesome scars to prove it! :) Congrats on sweet Andrew!!

Ann Itschner said...

You do have a perfect little baby! And Im proud of you for letting go and figuring out where it was all coming from. Your a great mom! I just love little Andrew already!

Wynne Elder said...

Loved getting to read the story. He is perfect! Can't wait to meet him ;) love to all FOUR of you!