i want to be better...

When you are having multiple kids, people always tell you how different their personalities will be. I get that we are our own humans and all, but to see the differences growing up right in your face is really incredible. We have raised our boys in the same fashion, and yet they are so different. 

Different is good. Different can be hard. 

Birth order really does matter.

I want to remember and embrace their differences. 

I want to be the best version of myself that they need. 

I fear any sort of spirit-crushing that I might inadvertently be doing. 

It takes time to understand each child and what they might need in each particular situation. 

It takes putting down my phone. 

It takes being present. 

Andrew, the middle child, is just that! 

He loves to get a laugh out of people, is loud in all situations, is more independent than Edward, and handles disappointment well after a failed attempt at negotiating. 

He also licks his runny nose (probably because we weren't always right on it)!

 My Edward. Good in all situations, boasting that he has never had a time out in the two years of preschool (unconfirmed), perfectionist, tender, and always thinking about his little brothers (parenting).

In classic first-born achiever style, Edward will try something a few times and quickly become an expert. 

 Walker's personality is emerging but he definitely is a social being and very adaptable to any situation. 

 I want to remember them in these stages together. The joys they bring each other. Their favorite things.

 I want to be more consistent. To journal firsts and feelings about who we are as we are raising our family. I want them to have this record of their lives. 

 To memorialize the people in their lives that they may not remember they knew. The times that we got to spend with our ancestors and learn their heritage. 

 The simple times we were just being together.

 I want to remember the times Andrew says "Can you swing me high up to the sky" and me never being able to get him high enough... 

"this is not high up in the sky." 

His love for Superman.

 And I want to remember the vacations - like that time we took them all on a Disney Cruise...

 without really thinking through how hard it might be :)

I want to be better.

I love to set goals and write tasks in my planner... but often fall short of the finish line. 

So, simply put, I want to be better.